I had not expected to be quizzed like an unprepared schoolgirl. "Because I am a slave, mistress," I attempted.She smiled. "Yes, of course, but really, why are you a slave?"I wondered what she expected me to say, what the right answer was. Was it because three men had broken into my apartment the night before and abducted me, a knife at my throat? Was it because I had been tricked into attending a club with Cristina? Or was it something deeper, more primordial, more unconscious? "I am a slave because I exist to serve and to please masters, mistress," I finally managed to say."Get up and kneel before me," Claudia ordered. I obeyed silently, my eyes lowered to the floor. "You are clearly trying to please me, which is to be commended. But you are not telling the truth. As a slave, you exist to serve your masters. That goes without saying. But it does not explain why you are a slave."I wracked my brain for the answer. I began to panic. I knew I was a slave - that was now abundantly clear. My night with Janet, my decision not to attend college, even the changes that had taken place in our group seemed insignificant compared to Kitty's need to be held. She'd always made me feel special, but the way she had placed my hand on her tummy, and held it there, fulfilled my wildest dreams. It showed that the girl I'd practically worshipped since I was fourteen had turned to me in her time of need.I didn't connect her placing my hand on her tummy to anything symbolic at the time, but when the same thing took place the following week, I associated it with her loss of the baby. Did my hand represent the fetus? Did she place it there to draw out the loss she felt? Whatever it was, I felt honored to be the one she wanted to comfort her.As Christmas approached, I informed Jane that I had no intention of participating in another swap with Berry and Janet. She tried to talk me into changing my mind, and this led to me telling her that I was not going to apply for admission to college..
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